Eric Swalwell: Fartgate 2019 | The Daily Show


While the impeachment train
rolled on, there’s an even bigger scandal
rocking D.C. today. And just a warning: if you have small children
at home, you should probably bring them
over to the TV to watch this. A congressman says
he was not responsible for a noise heard
during this interview. I’ve counted at least
five people testifying this week who were on the phone
listening to the president talk about this swap of dirt for U.S. military aid. Chris, so far,
the evidence is uncontradicted that the president
used taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians
to help him cheat… -(passes gas)
-an election. (laughter) (cheering and applause) Okay, that was embarrassing. That was a fart on live TV. And it was a loud fart, too. Like, that thing was so loud, I bet someone
made a noise complaint. Just like, “Hello, 911? I think there’s been
a wet shooting?” And just so we all agree
that that was a fart, let’s play it one more time. The president
used taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians
to help him cheat… -(passes gas)
-an election. (laughter and applause) Yeah, that was… that was unmistakably
a giant fart. It sounded like
a game show contestant got a question wrong
from inside Eric Swalwell’s ass. That’s what it sounded like. Although, although, to be fair, we don’t know that it was
Congressman Swalwell for sure. Like, it could have been
the host, Chris Matthews. Yeah. In fact,
this is the viral argument that everyone
has been talking about online. Who let it rip? And this clip
got so big, so big, that the two main suspects have actually had to come out
and address it publicly. NEWSMAN:
Swalwell says he didn’t do it, and even the Hardball
Twitter account for MSNBC says it wasn’t him
but instead blames a mug scraping across the desk. -Hmm.
-NEWSWOMAN: Okay. NEWSMAN: The congressman
shared that tweet, quoting in all caps,
“total exoneration,” seeming to take the whole thing
in good spirits. Because, look,
that’s embarrassing. Oh, that’s hilarious.
“Total exoneration.” Yeah. It’s a good joke
by Swalwell, but it’s actually not fair
to bring Trump into this, because he’s the one person
who wouldn’t try and hide it. He would try and own
a giant fart. Yeah, he’d be like,
“That’s right. I farted, “and it was the biggest,
most beloved fart of all time. “You know Obama
could never fart like this. “He tried, but he couldn’t
get it done, folks. Couldn’t do it.” So, for more
on this flatulent scandal, we’re now joined by
our senior D.C. correspondent, Desi Lydic, everybody. (cheering and applause) Desi… You’re there
in the Capitol building at the scene of the crime. What can you tell us? Yeah, well, Trevor,
the air is thick with speculation, intrigue and, obviously, farts. Uh, it’s clear
the impeachment proceedings have put Eric Swalwell under
an enormous amount of pressure, and yesterday on MSNBC, that pressure
was finally released. (laughter) But, Desi, MSNBC claims
the sound came from a mug. Ah, come on, a mug? Now, that’s a pathetic excuse. Think about it.
If mugs made fart noises, coffee shops
wouldn’t be relaxing. They’d sound like a yoga class
and retirement home. That’s a… that’s a good point,
but, Desi, how do you know it wasn’t Chris Matthews
who farted? Well, because, Trevor, the forensic evidence
doesn’t lie. Didn’t you see
Swalwell’s shoulders rise during the fart? He’s like a-a dog
sensing an earthquake right before the moment hits. And Swalwell’s quick denial
is the biggest tell of all. Might I remind you, Trevor, that the law says
he who denied it supplied it. It’s right there
in the Constitution. Y-You know, Desi,
n-normally, normally, that would convince me,
but, but a bunch of old clips have been resurfacing online
today because of the story and they show
that this isn’t the first time a fart has happened on
Chris Matthews’ show, all right? Like, listen. Listen carefully
to this clip from September. And these are absolutely real. What’s the penalty
for this kind of case? So, that really depends on
how it’s ultimately structured– if they were able to make -some sort of a tax charge here.
-(fart sound) (chuckles) Well, Desi? Okay, Trevor, yeah,
I-I did hear something, but, yeah, I don’t know, maybe Chris Matthews
was wearing leather pants. But-but it seems
to happen a lot though, Desi. Okay, here’s another clip
from his show in December. The president directed
that activity, according to this, uh–
this memorandum today. -Ken?
-Yes, Chris, and-and, in fact, you know, Michael Cohen already
stood up in court and said that -when he pleaded guilty
to these charges -(fart sound) in the Southern District
of New York. -You heard that, right?
-Yeah. No, but, you know,
that-that really– that could have been anything. For all we know, Rachel Maddow
was practicing the trumpet down the hall.
And, to be honest, Matthews wasn’t even on camera
when this happened, -so this proves nothing.
-Oh, come on. Come on, Desi.
Well, then what about this one? Just give me the skinny here. -Can we get a clean, fair,
-(fart sound) honest election in Florida
tomorrow? Come on, Desi.
That one was obviously him. I mean, he even paused.
He paused! He spoke, then the sound,
then he paused. He did that thing babies do
when they poop. Was like…
(babbles) (babbling) It’s clearly over, Desi. I’ll drop a mic, but Chris
Matthews would probably find a way to fart into it. No. Come on. Trevor! The only thing that this proves is that you’ve been googling
Chris Matthews’ farts all day. Oh– You know what, Desi,
I don’t understand why you’re defending
Chris Matthews so hard. Why can’t you just admit that this guy
is a one-man fart factory? Okay, I will tell you why,
Trevor. Because even though this
might be a silly story to you, there’s a real war on truth
happening right now in America, and we journalists are the ones
fighting on the front lines to defend all the institutions
we hold dear. In the words
of Edward R. Murrow, to be persuasive,
we must be believable. To be believable,
we must be credible. -And to be credible, we…
-(long fart sound) (fart stops) -Uh…
-Desi. -Hmm?
-W-Was that a… (high-pitched fart sound) (Desi clearing throat) Sorry, I was just, um… I was moving my mug around. Just… Desi Lydic, everyone.

100 comments

  1. A panel of men and women debate whether an obviously guilty traitor and criminal is a criminal and a traitor, and face the insane concept that no matter how solid the case against the accused is, if enough people think without reference to proof that the crimes he committed were not crimes, he goes free. Meanwhile, we're talking about farts. slow clap Rome's empire was just like this riiiight about the time it collapsed.

  2. John 7
    ////

    3 Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Leave Galilee and go to Judea, so that your disciples there may see the works you do. 4 No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world.” 5 For even his own brothers did not believe in him.

    2 Thessalonians 2
    ////

    10 and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. 11 For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie 12 and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.

    John 10
    ////

    3 The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.

    Ezekiel 3
    ////

    18 When I say to a wicked person, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn them or speak out to dissuade them from their evil ways in order to save their life, that wicked person will die for[b] their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood.19 But if you do warn the wicked person and they do not turn from their wickedness or from their evil ways, they will die for their sin; but you will have saved yourself.

    1 John 4
    ////

    4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 5 They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. 6 We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit[a] of truth and the spirit of falsehood.

  3. U can see him stop quickly and relax his sphincter to release his flatulence into the newsroom air…gross!!! Farting is air pollution and is releasing ass particles in the air… that's disgusting

  4. Making a fuss about a fart. Let's start a fart-positivity campaign. Humans fart which is natural and healthy. On the other hand, holding in farts is unhealthy and abnormal.

  5. You know he farted, I know he farted, he knows he farted, the rest of these people that say it was a coffee cup are lying through their teeth as usual ! And Swallwell, go scrape your leg.

  6. 🤣🤣🤣Swalwell know he farted. He paused and everything because he just Had to get it out. Nothing wrong with that.🤣🤣🤣

  7. This is the kind of story we need right now lol lol lol Tears rolling down my face, can something so natural be so funny.

  8. Proofs one think . Liberals are shit . Absolutely shit . 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩. Ps Obama can't fart . Larry Sinclair destroyed his poop valve.

  9. its fake but needed to lighten tight wad Repubs.I am switching blue because of the republicans inability to do their jobs.

  10. She should check her panties. Sounded like a "wet" one. Didn't sound like a fart that could be trusted …

    😂😂😂
    Sounded like a duck on the 3rd one.

    Global warming is caused by means of farts… TV farts.

  11. While in Iran a lot peolple has been killed, I can not find anything about them in mainstream media.
    #iranprotest #iranprotests

  12. I bet SNL doesn't even do a skit on this. With all the material the Dems have provided the past few years. I wouldn't be surprised.

  13. I’m telling you I hear farts in broadcasts all the time. Nba players fart during interviews. I saw an interview where James Harden farts and nobody says a word and I tried to time stamp it in the comments but I couldn’t get any attention.
    It happens all the time

  14. Defo a fart. He even pauses so he can force it out, and you see his body contract under the sheer immensity of the flatulent emission

  15. Wow – imagine that – a person speaking actually farts live on camera. But Trevor brings up a good point at 2:10. "[Trump] is the one person that wouldn't try and hide it. He would try to own a giant fart." No doubt.

  16. Well, never hold your farts in because they'll travel up your spine into your brain and that's where shitty ideas come from. Speaking of farts, I had a burrito earlier today and, have mercy! I've been like a fart machine the dog jumps every time i let one fly🤣😂

  17. Guys, look how much we'd all be missing out from Eric "Shitbreak" not being POTUS46. 😎

    Glad to see Desi back in another TDS segment. 😄

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