How NOT to sexually harass someone – The Mash Report – BBC Two


Rachel, in the wake of the Weinstein scandal and the #me too campaign,
I believe you wanted to pick up on the confusion surrounding what actually constitutes sexual harrassment.
I believe you wanted to pick up on the confusion surrounding what actually constitutes sexual harrassment.
I believe you wanted to pick up on the confusion surrounding what actually constitutes sexual harrassment.
Yes, that’s right Nish. Or should I say: stop sexually harrassing me, Nish!
Yes, that’s right Nish. Or should I say: stop sexually harrassing me, Nish!
Because even talking to a woman is now completely off limits. Isn’t that right Nish?
Because even talking to a woman is now completely off limits. Isn’t that right Nish?
No! No, it’s not Nish, but it’s fun to pretend to be confused about that, isn’t it?
In the light of recent revelations many men are feeling very worried about their own behaviour
In the light of recent revelations many men are feeling very worried about their own behaviour
and feeling a little bit threatened as well which makes me so sad.
‘Well done, feminism.’ says Martin in The Telegraph. ‘Now men are afraid to help women at work’
‘Well done, feminism.’ says Martin in The Telefgraph. ‘Now men are afraid to help women at work’
Well Nish, as ever The Daily Mail provides a very good barometer of the British public,
with this headline which actually happened:
‘Is hugging still okay?’ In the wake of the Weinstein sexual assault accusations, men ask:
‘Is hugging still okay?’ In the wake of the Weinstein sexual assault accusations, men ask:
‘What is acceptable to women and society now?’
Sociologist Carol-Ann Peterson says in the article: ‘Men do need to recognize that a sudden arm round the shoulder
or a pat on the butt isn’t the innocuous gesture some might have thought.’
or a pat on the butt isn’t the innocuous gesture some might have thought.’
or a pat on the butt isn’t the innocuous gesture some might have thought.’
Oh Nish, it’s an absolute minefield! What could possibly be wrong with spanking a colleague?
Or the prospect of a sudden arm grabbing you from the shadows?
Or the prospect of a sudden arm grabbing you from the shadows?
Hang on. Are these real headlines?
They’re real Nish. They’re genuine headlines. Welcome to the world.
They’re real Nish. They’re genuine headlines. Welcome to the world.
Nish, if you would. Please come and join me and let’s see if we together can sort this mess out.
Nish, if you would. Please come and join me and let’s see if we together can sort this mess out.
It’s absolutely impossible to see where the line is,
so I’ve come up with a series of visual aids to help you at home through this difficult time.
so I’ve come up with a series of visual aids to help you at home through this difficult time.
So, the first one. The biggest question is: ‘What is sexual harassment?’
Okay. Well, let me first say. Very nice use of the Comic Sans font there, Rachel.
Okay. Well, let me first say. Very nice use of the Comic Sans font there, Rachel.
Thank you, Nisham. If you’re laughing, you’re learning.
Let’s start at the start.
So, first thing’s first. ‘Can I complement a woman?’ Yes!
You can say something like: ‘Hello, you look well!’. That’s fine.
But you can’t holler: ‘Nice whaps!’ from a car.
Not anymore. Sorry, Nish.
Eh, what do you mean: ‘Sorry Nish’?
“Allright be the good old days”
Okay. Is it okay to give a woman flowers?
Yes. Yes! You’re right Nish,
as long as you don’t put your penis in there.
It’s tricky, isn’t it?
Is it okay to give a cheery hello to a lady?
Yes! Of course it is.
But not if you’re hiding under her bed.
Not according to the PC brigade.
(political correctness)
Now, Nish. Take a look at the screen.
And I’d like you to tell me Nish: do you think, in your view, that is this sexual harassment?
And I’d like you to tell me Nish: do you think, in your view, that is this sexual harassment?
‘Hi Jan, can I borrow your stapler?’
Eh, No!
He has got an erection, Nish.
Having reviewed this picture and the angle he is standing at,
I now see that I was naive to think he was not fully erect.
I now see that I was naive to think he was not fully erect.
Very good Nish. Although,
in truth it’s impossible to tell, his arm is directly in the way.
in truth it’s impossible to tell, his arm is directly in the way.
Ehm, let’s assume that this one is fine. But what about this one, Nish?
‘Jan, please come to the server room and wank me off.’
I’m going to say that’s a definite ‘not okay’.
I’m going to say that’s a definite ‘not okay’.
Yes, Nish. You got one right.
So, Nish…
I’m going to do now some harassment role play with you.
Okay. I’m immediately uncomfortable.
Okay. I’m immediately uncomfortable.
Nish, don’t worry. You’re a non-threatening beta male, whose absolutely tailor-made for the friend zone.
Nish, don’t worry. You’re a non-threatening beta male, whose absolutely tailor-made for the friend zone.
So, Nish. Imagine we’re in a normal pub situation
and we’re friends like we are, in a way.

How would you great me normally in a pub?
Well, we were friends so I would just give you a hug.
Exactly, so give me a hug now.
Well, we were friends so I would just give you a hug.
Exactly, so give me a hug now.
Well, we were friends so I would just give you a hug.
Exactly, so give me a hug now.
But now hold that for a little bit too long
So you know what that feels like, Nish. Does that feel right or wrong?
It’s feeling more and more wrong by the second.
Yes, that’s right Nish. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.
Yes, that’s right Nish. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.
Sometimes a simple greeting like a hug can be harassment if one of the participants
is obviously using it for their own weird gratification.
Hugging is absolutely fine, Nish. But is blood suddenly moving to the groin area?
Hugging is absolutely fine, Nish. But is blood suddenly moving to the groin area?
If it is then it’s a bad hug.
And is it Nish? Is it?
Eh, no. There’s no blood flowing anywhere.
Okay, wonderful!
Thank you for your help. Thank you.
“Don’t look at the script, Nish”.
“It’ll be fine, Nish”.
“You’ll be able to wing it on the night”.
“Of course we wouldn’t do anything to make you feel uncomfortable”.
Welcome to womanhood.
So, I’m afraid that life is going to get harder now that
we’re not allowed to sexually harass anyone, of course it is.
But, if you do stick to my handy guide we will
manage to walk that terribly fine line between being a decent person
manage to walk that terribly fine line between being a decent person
and a complete wanker.
Good luck to you.
Ladies and gentlemen: Rachel Parris.

100 comments

  1. 😂 Now I've seen it all. Grown adults don't need to be comically schooled like children about how to act in the work place. However females need to be reminded of the children's book about "The little boy that cried wolf." METOO can bite on it. I'm going to be a man rather anyone thinks my masculinity is something to be ashamed of or not. METOO calls men being masculine "toxic".. Well I call it being "normal, natural, and right." And if women are going to be offended by a man giving her a smile or a wink, or maybe even a complimentary whistle on the street. Then stop painting yourselves up like hookers before you go to work. If you don't want attention from men, then stop inviting it in. And the more falsely accusing men of harassment that continues to go on, the farther and farther men are going to stay away from crazy and not help a female out at all.

  2. yea but do that exact scene with that exact script somewhere and he could've gone to jail for being a male. this stuff is scary. its interesting cuz an erection is completely natural, but women seem to want us to feel ashamed for it. a woman focused on erections is the one sexually harassing, also if I ask I woman if she would want to have sex, that's not harassment, that's a question, and the reason why someone would ask that is to find out if the feeling is mutual. by this insane irrational method produced by the disempowering feminists, I should press charges against a woman who asks me if I want to have sex. also, do we make women feel ashamed for having boobs? no, if you feel ashamed for being in your body, you have been fooled by advertisers into thinking you're "not good enough so buy this this and that to be." this goes true for every human. only you decide to be uncomfortable. its not what happens to you its how you deal with it. wanna hear true sexism and prejudice, I was raped and went to the doctor to report it, and they said it couldn't happen because its illegal, wouldn't even look for dna. completely made me feel like trash for reporting being raped and trying to stand up against the corrupt cops in my town. this video did make me laugh but it quickly shut off when I saw how they set that poor guy up. and the conditioning is to make passive males, no such thing as alpha or beta, look it up the man who coined the term about the wolf, came back and said how wrong he was to say that because it is absolutely untrue, he said it was a mistaken observation. they are pack animals, they work together to survive. and we are primates anyway, and they work together to survive. they also go to war. primates are the only species that organizes wars. maybe some ants but they are a hive mind that's completely different. anway…this victimization mentality is really destroying the power women have, and is saying "look at how easily exploited these weak women are in the workplace, they need protection bc they are weak and need protections, we will protect you but won't teach you how to protect yourself." take martial arts. wingchun was a woman.

  3. We all know the rule, if you are good looking, you are flirting, if not, you are sexually harassing

  4. Shouldn’t you lot have a minor presenting this? Was startled that comments were enabled, let me tell you.

  5. Well I don't give a shit. You try and show respect and that isn't good enough, so why even bother anymore. Anything you say can be taken as offensive by some IDIOT. I won't be dictated to by utter morons.

  6. Yes, but where are the headlines about women dressing provocatively? Where are the headlines about the discomfort men feel in the presence of women who seem intent upon stimulating them sexually? That is an insidious and ubiquitous form of abuse that is altogether ignored in western culture.

  7. You're a non threatening Beta-Male, tailor-made for the friend zone ahahahah I'm gonna use that it's terrible but so funny

  8. Man, I just have to say that I have never talked to a girl first because of all this “harassment” thing.

    I just stay drinking and looking to the girl, if she wants me to approach, I just stay staring at her.

  9. "You're a non-threatening beta male, who's absolutely tailor-made for the friend zone"

    I just watched a murder

  10. This is terrible – why doesn't she actually use some example in the gray zone, comedy is about playing on the edges, not stating the obvious

  11. As a straight man i generally think the line is "Would i do it to another man?"

    Would i hug another man? Nope.

    Would i spank another man? Nope.

    Would i offer to help another man? yes.

    Simple as that. There's the line.

  12. She's the most annoying person i've seen, she talks like Julia Child from ERB's Gordon Ramsey VS Julia Child.

  13. The hypocrisy of women. In my interactions with women its rare that there is not a touch of the hand, or the arm shoulder and even the thigh, and hugs.
    By your logic it's allright to give women what they want and its allright for women to take what they want from men, but men arent allowed to have emotions or express the same need for human contact that you desire on a daily basis with men and women.
    Teach a boy to fear and feel guilty about needing interaction with and feeling attraction to women you're raising a serial killer. Hopefully they will kill the teacher before they kill the innocent, and then they'll be free

  14. I'm going to be honest, I, for whatever reason, was getting a little worried, with all the stuff going on with MeToo and all the scandals.

    Haha, but clearly I was overthinking a fair bit, I guess I have a habit of expecting the worst out of myself. Seriously though, Rachel Paris is great!

  15. These type of shows are aimed at people who will say:
    “I spat my coffee out laughing”
    “I fell off my chair laughing”
    “My stomach hurts from laughing”
    The canned laughter is beyond cringe

  16. This is made into jokes but the bbc actually prints those headlines and actually supports that ideology.

  17. the BBC 's view of the world ..cackling audiences and marginal comedy. I awaited the sidesplittingly funny line about '…Maggie Thatcher'

  18. Even the proposal of marriage is viewed as harrassment by some feminists. Poor women they spend their entire lives protecting their vaginas and breasts. Bring back the chasity belt

  19. So let me see if I get this right it's okay to give women flowers but not if your penis is in them. Damn I thought women liked that and some men to.

  20. These was very funy, but to be honest about it, I dont give a toss if I upset a woman or not, infact if I do upset a woman, gay, les or tranny during the day, then my day hasnt been wasted

  21. I'm so happy you cleared that up for us dumb knuckle-dragging cavemen. Cause we thought it was just fine to do all that stuff 🤨🤨

    Condescending @$*$*

  22. Can't stand the mash report. Not funny and utter crap. Nish is so predictable and unfunny, if he was white he'd be out of a job for sure as a comedian

  23. As hilarious as this sketch was (and it really was), imagine if we did this the other way round, and took the mickey out of the women in every scenario..
    #Mansplaining
    #MeToo
    #Misogynist

  24. The political correct liberal elite does comedy. I remember Monty Python and Black Adder. These wet lefties are the death of humour.

  25. Harassment is often perception, not overt action. An overly sensitive person looking to be offended will find offense.

  26. The thing about being ugly is that u don't have to worry about being harassed. Us ugly fatsos women wouldn't get harassed even if we paid someone ☝🏼😊 be proud and ugly

  27. Typed in comedy and this came up …why ? …oh thats right ,comedy is subjective and different things are funny to different people..i may find this offencive, unfunny because the butt of the joke is always a male and content is poor but thats ok ..its a joke … lol, what do you call a female feminist woke comedian ? Nothing , just walk past looking the other way . You could be accused of anything… ha ha ha ha …

  28. Ignore women in the workplace totally to avoid charges of sexual harassment. Then they will charge you with sexual discrimination for not "networking" with them.

  29. This is actually incredibly sexist against men. It assumes that all men need this condescending lesson. Dare I say womansplaining?

  30. Well the thing is I've seen a lot of videos of girls who say "you can't talk to me without my consent" ??????? Not even a hello yep you heard it right. So those headlines are not so silly and hilarious now is it?

  31. I come back to these videos just to see her 'Royal wave' at the end. But then I think, "might as well watch the whole damn video. It's comedy gold anyway". That's how you end up watching it more than 50 times.

  32. When she said, 'Stop sexually harassing me Nish,' I would have just said, 'Really?? This counts as sexual harassment.This distance between us. What…….did I ejaculate on you from this distance.'

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