1. Headline:
    "Melania Trump replants White House Garden"
    More accurate headline:
    "Donald Trump orders Melania to 'Plant me a french fry tree just like I saw Linus do in this comic book.."

  2. Trump Demands Firing of NFL Players That Kneel in Protest of Institutionalized Racism

    Should read:
    Trump Interprets 1st Amendment As It Applies to POC As Only a Right If Done Silently In Their Heads At Home.
    Trump States Football Is About Concussions Not Constitutions. You Are Entertainment Not Actual Citizens.
    Americans Are Trading in Peaceful Ocean Theme For Envisioning Trump in a Walk of Shame, Game of Thrones Style, During Yoga Meditation 'Happy Place'

  3. So Trump doesn't drink and he looks like that? Damn lol… I guess if he did drink he wouldn't just like 10 times worse than Micky Rourke but probably around 100 times worse lol.

  4. The asteroid only needs to hit one dinosaur and that is Trump. Trump is the most immature 71 year old I have ever seen and he needs to go extinct.

  5. Well Trump did pay women for pipi related things, maybe she forgot to take her wallet with her and thought that was an equivalent exchange

  6. Seal Team Six is still waiting for the green light to HALO jump in and extract the FLOTUS from her hostage situation….as Trump's Wife.

  7. I'm not into married women and Trump is gross. But if I ever get a chance, I'd bone Melania gross. I'd be her boy toy, then I'd wipe off with one of Trump's wigs.

  8. here's a headline you don't see every day:
    woman throws cup of own urine on DC bus driver.
    here's a more accurate headline:
    Russian prostitute confuses DC bus driver with DC president.

  9. Headline:
    "Hilary Clinton launches new book"
    Real headline:
    "Person who lost to Trump issues long-winded blame rant on everyone in America"

  10. Seriously, this show is just getting better an better. this is my fav new segment other than closer look if this is going to be a regular. loving it.

  11. Huh, forgot you're on the air. I see why, appeasing the emotion of failure is nothing to remember, much less respect.

    Affable isn't actually valued, just useful.

  12. "Ivanka Trump to act as Special Adviser in the White House"

    "Secret Service Asked to Install Under-desk Video Cameras for all Staff."

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