Trump Takes India | The Daily Show


President Donald Trump–
still not used to saying that. Last night, he flew 8,000 miles for his first state visit
to India. Now, Trump’s in India partly
to negotiate a trade deal, and partly to get his copy
of the Kama Sutra signed. Yeah, Trump and Melania use
that book all the time. Her favorite position is the one
where she’s on top, -and he’s not in the room.
-(laughter) Now, you might be wondering
how would a country full of brown people react
to a visit from Donald Trump? Well, it turns out,
from the moment Trump arrived, it was love at first sight. President Trump
just arrived this morning for a two-day visit. The president received
what’s being called a “king’s welcome,” orchestrated
by the Indian prime minister. The president headed
a massive rally packed with more than
a hundred thousand people. A Make America Great Again
rally, India-style. ♪ ♪ They even blasted “Macho Man” before the president
took the stage, and when he did,
a show of affection for India’s prime minister. Namaste, Trump! NEWSMAN: The president
is overwhelmingly popular here in India,
where his pro-business, tough-on-terror image
is widely admired. I happen to like
Prime Minister Modi a lot. He says between the stadium
and… and the, uh… airport, we’ll have
about seven million people. So it’s gonna be very exciting. Seven million people came out to see Trump go
from the airport to the stadium? That’s impressive. Although, to be fair,
it’s also India– there’s seven million people
between any two locations. -(laughter)
-Yeah, I mean… the line at Indian Starbucks
is seven million people. There are Indian brides right
now who are like, “No, Daddy, I just want a small wedding– no
more than seven million people.” He’s like, “Okay, Anushka,
first cousins only.” But it is true that Donald Trump
is very popular in India. All right? Some like him because
of his anti-Muslim rhetoric, some like him
because of his business savvy, and all of them like him because his skin
looks like tikka masala. -(laughter)
-And since India is so fond… -(applause, cheering)
-so fond… of President
Donald Jaipur Trump, they pulled out all the stops
for his visit. NEWSWOMAN:
At India’s famous Taj Mahal, workers paint,
spruce and polish, roads are renovated, and
nearby, the Yamuna River rises, as millions of liters of water
are released to cover its foul,
polluted smell. Preparations included
a hastily built wall that critics say was meant
to block the view of a slum, keeping thousands
of poor people out of sight. Yeah. India is trying so hard
to impress Trump that they’re building new roads,
cleaning up dams, and even building a wall
to hide their slums. And you know Trump’s
got to love that. He’s just like, “You see?
They built a wall, “and I haven’t seen
a single Mexican. -(laughter)
-It works, folks.” Now, India cleaning
its rivers and streets for Trump might seem extreme,
but if you think about it, this is basically what guys do whenever a girl says
she’s coming over, right? Yeah, you make the bed,
pick up your clothes, hide all your junk
in the closet. Then she calls
and says she can’t make it, and you’re like, “Damn it! So I
flushed the toilet for nothing?” So clearly,
India is trying to give Trump a memorable experience. There was, however,
one tiny culture clash that Trump had to deal with. Donald Trump is in India
this morning, but he could be forced
to go without his favorite meals of burgers and steaks. India’s prime minister,
Narendra Modi, a devout vegetarian,
plans not to serve any meat to the president during his visit.
One person who’s familiar with President Trump’s
eating habits has told the media
they’re worried about how he’ll cope
with the lack of meat, saying: “I have never seen him eat
a vegetable.” (laughter) I honestly don’t know
what’s stranger… the fact that Trump
might eat vegetables or that people are actually
worried about how it’ll go. Because you realize the news
wasn’t even snarky about it. They weren’t like, “Ha-ha! The president
has to eat vegetables!” They were like, “Yo,
if Donald Trump eats broccoli, -he could die.”
-(laughter) So, this is gonna be hard
on Trump. And you know what I was thinking
is what’s worse for him, is that cows are
so sacred in India, that they’re allowed to just
wander around in the city. So can you imagine how hard
that’s gonna be for him? He hasn’t eaten beef
for two days, and then he’s just gonna start
seeing cows in the street, and he’s gonna be like,
“Oh, my God, I’m hallucinating! “All the cows I’ve eaten
have come back to haunt me -(whooping, applause)
-“I’m sorry, cows. I’m so sorry! So sorry.” But I will say, I’m impressed,
because despite the beef issue, Trump is making the best
of his India trip. In fact, he even made an effort
to show the Indian people how much he respects them by
trying to speak their language. And it went about as well
as you would think. India welcomes us at the world’s largest
cricket stadium right here in “Abbabad.” Nam-oo-stay. Chiwala. Gushard. Sardar Patel. Arshrom. Suchin-tendo-kur. Goosholah. Go-ah. Dewali. As the great religious teacher Swami Vive-kamunund
once said… (laughter) Oh, man! Oh, okay, even if
that pronunciation was right, that facial expression was
so wrong. That looked like the most
exercise he’s gotten in decades. Just like, “Kum-kum-mund-nun… “Kum-mund-nun… All right,
that’s my steps for the day. I’m done.” Oh, man. Now, now,
this was really interesting. After Trump butchered half
the Hindi dictionary, Indian Twitter lost
their minds, right? People were coming on, like,
“Dude, it’s not Nam-oo-stay. “It’s namaste. Who messes up namaste
and says Nam-oo-stay?” But to those Indians,
I say please, don’t be mad. Trump may not be able
to pronounce Hindi words, but he can’t pronounce
English words, either, so… he’s an equal opportunity
offender. And besides, think about it,
it would have been way scarier if Trump had come out
all fluent in Hindi. Can you imagine if he
just came out and he was like: (impersonating Trump
speaking fluent Hindi) Bigly. (laughter, cheering) It would have been weird. So… that was day one of
President Trump’s trip to India, and you know what? I’m proud of the president. I’m really proud of him for
teaching us a valuable lesson, and that is:
No matter how old you are, you can still go to new places,
make new friends, and have new
mind-blowing experiences like eating a carrot
for the first time. (laughter)
-And to that I say: Nam-oo-stay.

100 comments

  1. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ’ช๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒท

  2. Wait…he says that indians love trump because of his anti muslim stuff???seriously…its the 2nd most populated in terms of muslims!!!!

  3. I just love watching you get egg on your face.
    All the crap you say is almost as dumb as a.o.crap๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ’ฉ

  4. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿคญ

  5. Random person reading the comments

    Dont read them

    They are very dark

    Theres is like a war going on down here

    Go bak up ASAP

  6. Most of the 110k people didn't came by choice, most of them are poor people bring from all over gujarat in government busses for 6-7$,and government employees like my father who were forced to attend event. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

  7. I think this oneโ€™s on America. Indians would have welcomed any President grandly, but the Americans put a buffoon in the position generally occupied by the most powerful man in the world.
    Then again, our Indian govt is creating more and more communal riots every week, so what do we know about electing a responsible government.

    That Hindi tho ๐Ÿ˜‚

  8. Lmao Iโ€™m not even political but this is so cringe especially when heโ€™s pronouncing Indian dialect and these fools laugh as if they know the language

  9. All the people who were there at the stadium were all given a free packet of beef biryani and rupees one thousand bribe per person and free transportation,,, ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ

  10. I got all your talk right, but what you said that the wall is being built there was really a wall so that the encroachment can be stopped.

    I love my India๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ

  11. Trump is not the only one who mispronounced the Indian words.
    If u see the full event, you will hear how Modi introduced Trump.
    Modi mispronounced Trump's name as Dolund Trump. Which is funny to the Indians coz, in hindi Do means 2 and lund means dick๐Ÿ˜‚
    2 Dick Trump๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  12. For people who dont know Modi roasted him back by pronouncing Donald Trump's name as Doland Trump which in hindi means Two Dick Trump.
    Dont ever take our beloved Indian PM Narendra Modi for granted. Jai Hind.

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  14. the point is they prime minister made the whole country come out to kiss trump ass wtf all them got damn people had to fuck the economy up explain this how does it work you get a call a letter an invite all Sadat at your door with the Draco smacking you got flames out you till you go ijs

  15. 4.40 bro not all types cows are sacred in Hinduism. We only protect our native cows(bos indicus) and you can eat cows of foreign species like cows from Australia, European countries.

  16. As for me I'm pleased that Donald Trump is the President of the United States. All is well, all is stable, life is good… wish the rest of the world had it as good as we do…

  17. How do you expect a person to pronounce words in another language when they canโ€™t pronounce their own. Reading it from the paper. You people expect to much from him lol

  18. The people of India & Government working for growth of the country without any loop holes but your big ass U states is cheating and abusing other countries to became rich.. you have no right to bully my nation… your country is filthy minded

  19. Iam an Indian,the real reason for people who came to see him is because they have never seen a creature like him before and after him they never again ,after Trump the species are going extinct

  20. india is a developing country…… they have their their own fancy product fr trump visit ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚….!

  21. 2:26 proud to be Indian rgt now ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿค
    5:21 LMFAO๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ that's way far from the right pronunciation
    Kind of tired of people mocking India cause of some people who wants to please some people ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ

  22. This is very hard to Donald trump to not pronounced hindi word properly, i (a villager miles away from Delhi) appreciate his effort.i think you should respect your president as fellow citizens of great UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

  23. Trump hug the Gujrat's minority killer Modi who is Indian RSS member and the bigger terrorist. Now in all province his parties are killing hundred of minorities by the support of Police.

  24. It is an idiot of America who made the President of Trump that we are stupid because we invited him here.

  25. Indians do like Trump coz he is trying his best for his country. Surprised that Americans can't value that. Nationalism is out of fashion!!

  26. Trump look only indian money… he got millions dollers order…

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